Then the bottom fell out.
I got laid off from my job this morning. Not just me. All twenty nine employees. The owners called us all into the conference room and dropped the bomb on us. No warning. No severance. Nothing. It floored us all. The meeting got very ugly very fast. Needless to say...I freaked out. Not a little. ALOT. Wolf says I shouldn't be worried...but I am. I'm scared. I'm a graphic designer and this isn't the best market for my line of work even when the economy is good. Roomie has already said I don't have to worry about rent or the bills and Wolf said he'd make my car payments if I needed him to. I know they loves me and mean the best but being a charity case just makes me feel worse.
I loved my job. I loved what I did and who I did it with. Now it's gone and I'm a little depressed...
So I mentioned in yesterdays post about the new clothes from Forever21 that I wore yesterday. I also mentioned Wolfman's reaction to how I looked when he picked me up for lunch (PS...I loved rather hot if I say so myself!). Anywho...went for a mani/pedi last night with Queenie and D-bone. We had a GREAT time and even went to grab dinner afterwards. Whilst at dinner, I get a text from one Mr. Wolfie asking if I had some time to talk to him after I got home. Are bears catholic? Does the pope shit in the woods? OF COURSE I have time for you, silly! I called him on the way home and he tells me he'll be at my place in a few. Fair enough. I'm a tad concerned given my ability to attract drama as of late but I brush it off.
Now mind you...I'm still wearing my hot ass outfit PLUS my toes and fingers are candy apple red now. FUCK. I look good. :-)
When he gets there he asks if we can go talk in the bedroom. At this point, I'm TOTALLY worried because he looks and sounds so serious. Shit. Thanks to the wine at dinner, I've got all kinds of things running thru my mind. I close the door and don't even get my hand off the knob and he attacks me. ATTACKS ME. Tells me that lunch totally turned him on and he couldn't get me out of his mind all afternoon. Tells me I've never looked hotter.
Um...you had me at "hello".
I couldn't get my hands into his pants fast enough and he couldn't get my skirt up any quicker. We didn't even get our clothes completely off till round #3. Sleep finally became a topic of conversation around 2:30am. I was completely and totally late for work this morning but the morning sex alone was COMPELETEY worth it!
And why did all this happen? Because of my Forever 21 outfit. THANK YOU Forever21.com!
(we now return you to your regularly scheduled programming)
So on the way home last night, I got a ticket! BOO! He says I was going 53 in a 40. He may be right because I was dancing and singing and not really paying attention but it doesn't matter. That's only the SECOND ticket I've ever gotten and I was sick to my stomach when he was talking to me. I was near tears (again...where's that shit coming from? I don't cry). I even choked up on the phone telling Wolf about it. I guess it didn't help any that he told me what the fine was for a ticket that big. SHIT on a cracker!
Roomie and I watched Biggest Loser last night...and drank a little too much wine along the way. We seriously have too many shows to watch on Tuesday nights. Thank GOD 90210 doesn't come back till mid March. Now we just have to choose between BL and AI. I'm totally in love with "Loser" though and have a slight crush on trainer Bob. That tight little body, all that ink...yummo!
There's a new show starting Thursday night on SOAPNet called "Being Erica" that looks really really good. But like every other obscure show I like...it'll probably get cancelled after only a few episodes.
Sorry this is a plain vanilla entry. That's what happens when you stop cattin' around like a whore I guess. :-) Totally looking forward to the weekend with Wolfie though. Getting a mani/pedi tonight with Queenie and D-bone then getting a wax (yes, that kind) tomorrow. Sister has to be ready for action, right?!
Ok lovers...have a great afternoon! Hopefully I'll have a more juicy entry soon. This one was a snoozer.
Boy...was I wrong.
Friday night I went out with Roomie and BFF. Had to MAKE myself not text or think about Wolf. I wanted to leave him alone so he could be with his friends. I finally broke down at 1am when I was laying in bed. I texted him to tell him good night and his response was:
"damn...I was wondering if I was ever gonna hear from you tonight! :-)"
That was just yummy. He brought Roomie and I lunch on Saturday then we and spent the afternoon running random errands and goofing off. We fixed dinner together that night (Chicken Alfredo. QUITE good!) then snuggled up on the bed and watched one of my most favoritest movies, "Serendipity". Fast forward to 2am...we had both fallen asleep watching TV. I woke up and realized he had pulled up the blanket, turned out the light and was fully intent on holding me all night long. So I let him. :-)
It was absolutely the best night I've spent with a guy that didn't involve sex! ;-) I didn't want him to leave on Sunday morning. I think it's totally goofy (in a good way though) how attached to him I am already. Other than two minor things, life couldn't be better. Those two things are:
- Wolf made absolutely NO move on me. Given the fact that I basically offered myself to him anytime anywhere the other night, it's got me wondering. Wondering if he's still a little "messed" about me sleeping with McButter last weekend. I hate that...
- He hasn't handled the Iceman situation yet.
Todays morning drive song and dance is brought to you this morning by the lovely Michelle Branch and Mr. Carlos Santana. I hit repeat on this one about 4 times!
Also, I had a couple of people ask where my last couple of blog titles came from:
"Hello, Hello...This Is Romeo..." came from a Melissa Ethridge song called "No Souvenirs". Awesome song. Go find it and check it out.
"Change The Weather Still Together When It Ends" is from a Maroon 5 song called "Sunday". Probably my most favorite of all their songs.
So...what's everyone have planned for Valentines Day? Wolfman and I decided the other night that we'd just stay in, fix dinner and chill. No gifts, no cards, just the pleasure of each others company. What does everyone else have planned though?
We kissed for what seemed like forever. I couldn't get enough of him. The taste of his tongue. The feel of his lips. The warmth of his breath. The smell of his cologne. If I had my way we'd still be there doing that but alas...all good things get interrupted.
Roomie came home.
And she wasn't subtle about expressing her joy for what she was seeing. Now granted, I'm totally not against threesomes at all...but this threesome dogpile on the couch was a bit much. :-)
Wolfie (I totally have to find a reason to start calling him that in real life) and I retired to my bedroom where we laid on the bed and talked for what ended up being 4 hours. About everything. I mean EVERYTHING. We both got really vulnurable and honest with each other. We finally talked thru the whole Iceman situation. I was more than willing to take it all on myself and patch it up because they're roommates...not to mention best friends. He said not to worry about it...he'd handle it. I don't know what that means but I guess we'll find out.
I asked him if he wanted to spend the night. He said yes but he wasn't going to (plus 1 for Wolf in the sexiness column). Then I tried to even that score by saying something sexy only to be one up'd by him:
Me: Do you wanna stay here tonight?
Wolf: yeah...but I'm not gonna.
(insert smiles and giggles here)
Me: well just know that I am COMPLETELY yours whenever you want
Wolf: oh I know...
I think Mr. Wolfman just moved to the front of the sexiness line. I had either completely forgotten or blocked from my memory how good it felt to hear someone say 'I love you'. Especially when it was as unexpected as this. It's amazing how fast you get used to not hearing that.
It feels even better to say it though...
I'll finish my "Wolfman" story later on...promise!
So...where to start? I tried like hell for a couple of days not to contact Wolf...which killed me but I managed to do it. When HE finally made contact he told me he'd come see me last night after he got off work. That's usually around 5:30...plus drive time...he's be at my place around 6ish. I got home right at 5 so I had an hour to pace and think and dread and stew. It took a glass of wine to calm me down.
He finally shows up and the tension is INCREDIBLE the minute he walks in the door. Other than 'hey'...he hasn't said a damn word yet. I've been winding myself up into a knot now for about an hour and I'm ready to break. In near tears, I just blurt out (more like shout out):
"you are gonna have to tell me what I've done so I can apologize and fix it because I can't stand this I can't stand this silence it's killing me and I don't know what I've done but I've offended you or hurt you or made you mad and I know it but I can't do anything about it unless you tell me what it is"
(yes...I said it all as one long, unpunctuated, babbling sentence)
You have to understand that Wolf is a fairly soft spoken guy. He rarely gets upset or agitated or loud. In response to my Christopher Walken-like, punctuationless babbling, he makes a quiet statement that both breaks my heart and set the tone for the rest of the conversation:
"I love you A. I do. I have for a long time. But I just don't see how you can go from wanting to sleep with ME...one of your best friends...last Friday to sleeping with a complete stranger just one week later. Does that mean if we had slept together it wouldn't have meant anything? Because that's what you're getting ready to tell me right? That this guy on Friday didn't mean anything but random sex."
Tiny little daggers...one after the other...straight into my heart. I start to express the awesome extent of my stupidity and inability to think one step ahead of what I'm doing sometimes when he stops me with this question:
"do you love me?"
By this time I'm sitting on the floor in front of him. I could feel it starting in my feet. Are my feet asleep? No. It worked it's way up my legs, into my guts, burned thru my lungs and into my throat where it got stuck like a lump just waiting for me to open my mouth so it could escape. Sobs. And tears. Damnit. All I can do is lay my head in his lap and cry. And cry. And I can't get it back together. And I'm trying to talk but it's one of those cries where you can't form an intelligible word if you had a gun to your head.
"do you love me? because if not...we're just wasting our time here for no good reason."
I crawl up off the floor, onto the couch, straddle him, take his face in my hands and kiss him. Strong. Wet. Long. Eyes shut tight. Bodies pressed together. Lost for what seemed like an hour. Finally we break and I stare him in the eyes...
"Yes, I love you."
(to be continued...)
fabulous work top
cleavage! did I mention I love cleavage? :-)
casual top...LOVE purple
For St. Paddy's Day...
For work...or play :-)
Because I only have 73 pairs of black pants
For goin' out
To wear with the red stilettos I bought recently